it been a long tyme i update my blog..
tis pass few day it was so bored!!!
i feel lyke im in prison!!!!!!
i clean the hse cook n watch tb
tat wat i did!!!
i feel lyke sneakin out of my hse but i cant
i tink bck if i did tat the consequnse will be worst
then ytd i wen to skul wif my mum n took my report bk
tat is the only tyme i wen out of the hse to get fresh air .
if not i will be stuck at hm..
haiyo
i miss all of my friends..
i wanna go out n mit them
spent tyme wif them
i realli miz them badly!!!!
i wish my lyfe is not lyke tis..
ya ita was ryte my parent was strict..
but it is not my mum she ok it juz my dad..
it all thks to my mum i can use the comp..
if not i cant update my blog check my freindster or msn.
haiyo..
if my lyfe is lyke tis it is better to be dead!!
my lyfe is so unfair for me!!!!
y mus it be me?
not other ppl
haiyo..
im goin to be 18 also i am treat lyke a small kid!!
i hav no freedom!!!
y cant i be lyke othe teenaager out there
but wat i can do
nothing i juz hav to acpt it..
i hope wen i hav werk i can get out of this hse.
i find a place tat can be rent n stay there..
i will hav my freedom
tat will be wen i am 20 year old
tat wat i really one
freedom
i juz sick n tired of my lyfe lyke tis..
kkays gtg
my dad will be hm soon
tata

it has been a veri long tyme since i update my blog..
it is not i dunno wanna to update..
it is juz tat i cant use the comp so much as last tyme..
it is all becose of tat imran lor..
he wen n kol my dad on fri n tell tat he hav to come down
skul to take my report book n i hav fail..
he can kol my mum wat not my dad,,
he is so stupid all tis while was my mum whu alsways come
down to skul..
wen i came back on fri...
i had a lecuture from my dad,all the past tat i did
he brought it up..
i was so damn piss of..
he told me tat i cant go out anymore wif my friends..
coz wen i go ut i nv study tats y my result r bad..
wtf..i juz kept qiuet..
then he told me i also cannot use the come if it not for skul..
coz i juz play game n chattin n tat waste my tyme only...
i was so sad but juz kept quiet..
thank god he nv take my hp..
if no i realli cannot say anything anymore..
then he said u dun tink u hav money u can do wat eu want..
tat money in the bank tat tyme i work i cant use it.
wtf n he ask for my card..
tat was my hard earn money y can t i use it..
now i wanna work he dun let he say later i duno want to study..
later i juz tink abt money..
he tink im so stupid not to tink abt my fuure izzit..
watave la..
i can only go out wen i hav the june holi classes lor..
haiz...wat a lyfe for me
my posb card he aslo take i cant top up my card.!!!!
now my kad left below $5 how am i goin to survive if i nv top up..
n i cant go out n werk..
i juz cant tink wat can be more worse after tish..
wat a lyfe tat im havin..
sat the whole day stay at hm watch tb while my sis use the comp..
for skul n chat lor..
sunday wen out wif my family
go to my old nieghbour hse..
then wen to eat then go hm...
watch tb n did nothing else..
my lyfe is being more bored n cant get even worse..
now im updatin my blog wen he is not at hm..
n i cant use the comp long..
coz he can come hm form werk anytyme..
so im off tata

today wen to skul as normal..
first period was mother tounge,
i kena do ketuk ketampi sia..
so paisey..
coz i ans the peribahasa incorrectly..
the guys all see..
haiyo..
then chem wen to comp lab so bored sia there
recess wif the 4n1 gerl..
so funny sia wif them
sit wif them better sia..
then went to the hall
got tok again..after the tok kena punish by rangen
so hot sia..
kene do pumping..
then write letter
haiyo so leceh..
then wen bck hm..
my cuz go paris or france i foget wif one..
wah so gd sia.
i also wanna got
but in my dreams..
haha
tats all..
then go hm
online

today fatimah birthday but she nv come skul
also my dad 45th birthday today
check our long mark sheet
then go mother tounge class..
then chem check ppr..
after recess got talk until 1.30
then waited for ahhui..
but i tired alrdy i wen hm at 3 wif carmen..
then rech hm...
waited for everyone go hm
then we celebreate my dad birthday..
tats all

lazy to type
=)

mon was labour day..
plan to go out..
but in the end everyone was lazy so juz stay at hm..
i go out wif my sis buy printer ink n egg.
go hm i make lyke so cal pie la..
then watch mly show..
then watch chocolate..
then my grandma came..
wen out wif my dad buy things
then mkn wif family..
then play comp.
tats wat happen..
n lazy to go shul tmr..

sun wake up took a bath..
today the whole day i juz watch tb..
did nothing much..tats all
im lazy to type or update la

today ish sat..
i wake up early..
today ekah ajak me go sentosa..
but i did not go..
cos..i hav to money left..
i pnly left 10bucks..
wat can i do wif it sia there..
so i nv go..
so i guess ahhui n ct got go lor..
if i got money i had go alrdy,
i wont be so damn bord at hm..
haiz..but nbm la..
nxt tyme i guess..
ahaha
i ask my dad liao can go he juz kept quiet ytd..
then juz now in the morning he ask thought u wanted to go out
then i say lor no money for wat go out then he kept quiet..
after havin my breakfast watch tb for a while..
wen slpy..
i doze off at the couch..
then wen in my room n go to slp..
slp at 1.30pm..until 3plus..
wake up the check my hp got msg n kol..
ingore it n wen to slp back..
then wake up at ard 5..
then got msg from my sis ask me to go lib
she want tp borrow lots of books n need my card..
then wake up bath n go out..
then wen i was otw ther..
i kol n msg them lyke hell nv ans or reeply..
stupid ryte..klyfe farkin shit lor..
the kol my mum hp she pick up ask where r they..
then they told me they r not at the lib anymore..
they are tat the century square..
i was lyke farkin pss of wif them lor..
i was lyke acrazy women shouting in thr fone at my mum..
ppl was lookin at me..
i dun care..
beocse iw as so damn piss off.
they wanna look let them be..
it is not my prorb..
for watthey wanna be KPO
ii dun cae she wanna scold me or wat ..
i was so damn tired n was in no mood.
then do me lyke tis..
they tink i wat..
then mit them there..
did not tok to them...
juz follow them..
they wen n buy for my dad birhday present..
then wen hm..
watch tv n a had my dinner..
on the comp n play lor..
write ppl testi n add new pixz..
paly game chat in msn..
then i blog..
tat was my day

waited for my sis to come hm..
then we get ready to go out n hav our dinner..
wen out at ard 6pm..
wen to the interchange n tok 10 n went to bedok conner..
we eat lyke nv eat before sia...
there so much food me order..
haha..
but ta last we eat slowly n everthing is finish..
my sis drink to big glass of bangung same goes as my dad...
haha i juz drink one milo dinosour..
haha..
we finsh eat at ard 8 to 9 lyke tat
then we miss the bus 10 n have to wait for the nxt one to come..
it tok ard 20 to 30 mins to come sia..
haha wen it come until two bus come..haha
then reach the interhcnage 3 bus number 10 come hahaah..
then we wen jln2 at tamoines mall. for a while n head hm..
reach hm at ard 10pm
then watch tv a mly show..
then wen to slp at ard 11.30pm..

today is the day..
where i will be gettin my result..
argh im scared to noe my result..

so here goes..
my eng i got 47.5%
hum i got 50.5%
sci i got 29%
mly i got 55.7%
my math the worst i got 17.1%

after i got all of my paper i feel lyke cryin..
work so hard but nv pass..
it ok if i nv pass but at least get ard 40+% la..
but tis was so damn farkin bad sia..
durin the exam period i study so hard until fall sick...
haiyo...
wat had happen to muii result..
haiz..
lyke tis how to do N level..
want to go higher nitec also cannot sia..
haiz..

wat am im goin to do toget gud result..
fot the scond perlim i really wanna do well...
it will be in august after national day..
it will be our prelim 2..
tis tyme i realli nid to work veri har so tat
i can at least go to higer nitec,,
i dun care wat it take me..
i will die2 must werk hard..
if not i will really die..

reach hm iw as scare to tell my mum my result but she is not back yet..
so juz keep quite until she ask me..
haiz..
how am i goin to tell her?
can i go out when my dad noe my result..
haiyo so stress ley...
dunno la wat to do..
i feel so down sia now..
after knowin my result..
llyke..
dunno wat else to do..
on comp also there nothing so gd to do..
haiyo..
for now i say only tat..

today was markin day..
so there was no skul for me yeah...
wake up early..
then play comp..
chat wif nisa n ahhui online..
i nid to cook beofre i can go out..
after cookin n clean the hse..
i took a bath n get ready..
mit ahhui downstair my block @1.30pm..
then took 15 n mit nisa...
then we went to parkway..
azza was late so we go jln2 first..
after jln2 mit azza..
then i wen to job interview @ swensen..
dunnno if i get or not..
hahaa..
after tat azza mit her guy n she wn for jammin..
she ask us to tag alon but we lazy..
so me ahhui go ubi...
go ayun hse.
then play wif nabilah n syukri..
ayun dad come hm i duno watto do juz smile..
haha
lyke stupid lyke tat..
then 6pm. we go hm..
ahhui leg ws pain so we took the cab hm..
haha now i let 10 buck how to go out nxt tyme..
nvmla..
all the way at ubi it was jam..
haiz so bored sia..
go hm bath ..
n eat wif family..
then watch the show down..
go in my room..
sms ppl..n tok on the phone..
slp arg 10 plus lyke tat

my mum wake me up today..
juz now in the morning was so lazy to wake up sia..
haha...
today i got oral..
haiz...
was nervous dunno wat to say later
bloodly hell..
i was the last person..
haiyo..
ask yati to wait for me but she left first nbm..
the oral was ok la..
the teacher ask me q i juz ans lor..
but the pics i dunno wat to say..
then i wanted for mama bear..
i stay in the cantten wif aqila farahin namira n ella..
then she finish ..
the whole bunch of us go hm..
wif the 4n2 guys to haha
it was raining sia..
i ws wet..
nv bring umberla..
then reach hm go bath n play comp..
then was so bored i wen to slp...
then wake up my parent was back..
then watch tb..
at night wen online..
but dunno wat to do..
haiz...
today was bloodly bored..
day after day my day n lyfe is gettin more bored..
haha
haiz..
wat do do tats my lyfe

today..
wake up in the morning.
play comp...
chat n update my fiendster..
before goin out i nid t clean the hse n cook..
ahaha..i cook fish sweet n sour...
then sweep the hse..
after tat took a bath n wen go..
mit nisa n ct @ ubi..
the we headed to parkway...
wen jln2 but dunno where to go it was lyke bored..
wanted to mit azza to..
but she last min msg said tat she cant mit us..
coze she go jammin
so ok then
nisa did the shoppin haha..
the we headed hm @3.pm..
took 15.
wanted to lpk at ubi..
but was to lazy..
so i mit my new frend fahmi...
haha..
then wen hm
my mum n dad was alrdy at hm
reach hm at ard 5pm..
then wen to play the comp..
then watch tb..
police n thief
then anugerah band..
then wen to slp..
tmr got eng oral..

today was my last paper..
it was phy..
the paper if u study u can passs..
but i nv study tat well..
haha..
i dun tink can pass..
after tat me mama n yati mit the other at longkang..
mama bear went clementi go mit the boifrend...
then ahhui n fatimah wen hougang eat macd..
ahhui told me hafiz was there to ..
argh!!!!!!!not fair..
then me n nisa wen to sp eat macd..
thne we jln2 at tis fashion ..
wanted to buy belt..but nv..
then nisa buy a shirt..
then we took 21 n headed hm..
reach hm @ 12.30..
haha
the took a bath n play comp..
then hlp ahhui kol to make appoitment..
at first was scared but at last ok ..haha
give nisa n ahhui testi..
thne give nisa phot comment..
she also write for me..
then ooff the comp wen tn read my book..
but at last i wen to slp
the book was boring.
it was abt wat ocean thingy..
then at night watch tv..
thne ahhui kol me tok to her..
after my sis paly comp i used..
then put down the phone n chat wib her at msn..
then at ard 10pm i off the comp n went to slp..

i juz dunnoe y i juz cant get over hym..
do i really love hym?
y mus i care for hym wen he dun care abt me at all..?
y am i so stupid to tink tat he will be wif me again?
argh!!!!!
y am i stupid to make the same mistake again wib guys???
i really hate my lyfe sai..
nothing is goin to be fine or gd for me!!!!!!!!
i juz dunno wat goin to happen to me la nw..
so confused.!
wanna cry also no use..
argh...
i shld tink abt my future n studies..
not guys..
rati change la..
dun be lyke tis anymore..
u wont go anwhere if lyke tis..
but how am i goin to change,,,
wen i always turn back to my old ways..
haiyo...
dunno wat to do la..
haiz..
hlp me..

ydt forget tio type..
wen i was at vivo i say hafiz n haziq n kairi..
was hapi to since hym haha..
i smile at hym n he also smile at me back..
haha i was lyke goin crazy at tat tyme haha

also i forget to write..
i wen to update my blog..
then i view his friendster.
his status was married..!!!!
i felt lyke cryin n i did..
n his shout ou t was this
"LoVe At 1St SiGhT.. bAbY. u ArE EvErYtHinG tO mE"
i was so sad..
ct at the same tyme kol me..
i was tokin to her n was cryin to..
she was ryte..
wen i was eatin my eyes keep on twightin..
n i ask her y..
she said i am goin to cry soonn.
n it was true..
argh...
at night i tink abt hym..
n was cryin again..
i juz dun noe y i feel sad n hurt abt tis..
haiz..

btw today wen out wif ahhui tdy
mit her ard 3pm..
then wen n buy rokok at mama shop there..
then wen to library..
me n her borrow stroy book..
then wen the place we always sit..
wanted to study but end up tokin all the way..
then my friend kol wanted to mit.
but i dun want at last mit hym
i feel bad sia..
juz left ahhui lyke tat..
i regret mitting hym..
die ajak aku pi bilik..
aku uat keje tk senonoh dgn die..
argh!!!!!!
lg sekali aku uat perkare gini..
menyesal la..
aku harap2 tkade ape2 akn terjd pat aku la...
tlg la..ku bodoh la...
then reach hm at 6.55pm..
wen n bath..
then eat dinner..
mum cook porridge,..
the watch tv for awhile..
then play comp till now..

tdy was my chem test..
i dunno la how i did the paper..
after test wen to SP.
wif bob yati mama bear n rico go eat @ mac..
i eat hotcakes..
then i wen hm wif yati took 28
then ther one couple in the bus ite mac..
the was hug2 in the bus lyke no body bines..
then the gerl fone drop haha.
serve her ryte..
wen hm go choose clothes wat to wear..
then wen bath,
go mit nisa n shaz at tamp lib..
thne follow nisa to ubi take her nabilah
then me nisa n sahz walk to enous..
they go mkn..
i go took mrt n wen to mit ct n shameera at vivo city..
wen for job interview..
the go mkn at long john..
sit there n tok2 make noise.
then go jln2 for a while n headed hm at 5.30..
reach hm @ 6.30..
bath the watch tv..
then ahhui kol..
then i online tok wib her at msn..
now still tokin to her..
i pity her sia
ekah got mira then leave her..
i also lyke tat now close iwif mama bear i leave her..
i feel bad sia.
i sorr ahhui..
i wont do tat anymore kk
i will be there for u now..
k dun worry mark my word k
i try to change sso tat make frend will not feel abondan..
n i will treat everyone fair..
k la tats all

today was my math paper..
it was bloody hard..
i feel lyke cryin wen i do tat paper..
i was blank..
all tats i study was mo use..
i still cant do it how am i to pass my teat..haiz.
dunno la wat to do..
after the test accompany saf n yati eat..
then i go hm..
i took 28 hm..
wen at bedok there was 3 guys board the bus..
i was sittin ryte at the back
the one guys sit infort of me..
another sit same row wif me but at the other end.
the otehr guy sit infornt of the guy whu sit at the end..
the infront of me n side was cute haha.
keep on seein them
weni wan to go down of the bus..
they disturb me..
say bye...
jln baik2 tau..
i juz walk pretend nv hear haha..
otw hm..
while walkin say my dad wen in the carpark from far..
he took the lift i took the other one..
haha he reach hm first..
it has be 5 days i tok to hym haha.
then i paly the comp ..
watch tv
then at night play comp again .thn
watch the shown down..
then slp haha
nv study for my chem

ytd night i was bz stuydin for my math paper..
havin runnin nose was so difficult for me to study cannot tahan siak..
i goin to be sick after tis..
before wen to slp..
took panadol n cough syurup again..
then i can slp..

tdy wake up @5.30am..
cant wake up but mus becose math paper..
the paper juz now was okok la..
but i dun tink can pass haha..
sum q did not finsih becose not enuf tyme..
argh..
durin the paper i cannot tahan my nose was itcy..
haha..
after the paper mit nisa n other at the canteen..
mama bear eat..
then nisa n the 3n4 girls wen to heartland to eat..
then i wen to mama bear hse..
sit down tok2 to her..
wen ow to her hse..
at outside skul i saw my dad haha..
after tat me mama bear wen this fahsion @ eunos
then wen hm take 28..
mama bear go bedok her grandma hse..
i wen back hm...
i wen i reach hm i was feelin unconfartable..
took the thermometer..
argh.. i was sick my emperture was 37.8..
haha..then i go n slp @ ard 1pm..
wake up @ 3.30pm.
then watch tv for awhile..
then i play the comp..
check my friendster then chat @ msn..
then update my blog..
tmr ish eng n NE quiz..

tdy was my geo paper..
i tink i am goin to fail it even i hav studied it..
it was so hard sia..
did not hav tyme to slp ..
i finish the paper at ard 9.25am...
5 min till the paper end..
had math lesson tdy ..
but i did not go...
my mum came to skul..
to take my hp from the vp..
talk really much..
ask dun lend to ur friend..
if not it will trouble ur mum to come down skul
n take the fone for eu..
yaya watave..
then i eat togather wif ct n mama bear..
i n ct take the math paper n go hm..
mama bear nid to stayback beocse she was late..
take the taxi go hm..
reach hm play the comp...
my grandma came...
ard 12plus wen out n met my friend for a while..
go hm play the come becose lazy to off it..
chat for awhile wif nisa..
then go out again send my grandma to the interchange..
then go hm...make puff for my family..
then update my blog...
tat wats happen today..
now wanna go n study for my math test tmr..
mr chin said it will be hard..
i am scared..
haiz...

Btw today is aishah birthday..
so happy birthday to her

today..
wake up early..
watch tv for awhile then i took a bath..
my parent go out @ 8.30am..
go to johor...
then i cook noodles for myself n my sis..
then watch tv..mulan II..
after tat watch zack n cody ..
i was feelin lyke i am goin to be sick..
so i took a panadol n crush it..
i took cough syurup...
then i wen to slp...
my parent reach hm i aslo dunno.
i woke up @ ard 3pm..
iron my skul uniform..
then sit down n watch tv..
took a bath @ 5 plus..
then had my dinner
after tat i ate ice cream..
then i was feelin bored..
so ard 7pm..
i on the comp..
i paly online game..
n chat..
after feelin bored doin all of tat..
i do my bloging..
then i wanna go slp...
tata

forget to say..
today ish my kak sabrina birthday..
so happy 21st birthday to her

tdy..
did not do anythin much..
watch tv n paly the comp in the morning..
becoze i was alone @ hm..
my mum n sis go ploy.
then my dad go out..
then my mum n dad go pasar..
i n my sis @ hm..
they go hm hlp them keep all the thing..
then cook.. then watch tv...
after tat wen to slp..
it was a boring day..
haha

tdy wake up @ 6am..
was rushin..
did not want to come skul late..
forget to wake mama bear up..
she came skul late wif bob..
waited for ahhui n saf u get thier ezlink back..
got @ ard 2pm..
then i follow saf to geylang...
ask for her mum money..
then headed to bedok res..
wen to do my hair..
reach there@ ard 3.15pm..
do my hair @ 3.30pm..
rebond my finge,
cut my hair..
wash my hair..
blow my hair..
straight my hair..
all of tat cost me $45..
finsih @ ard 5 or 5.15 lyke tat..
thanx god mama bear was there to acct me,..
if not i will be bored..
nisa did not follow me..
msg n kol her nv ans n reply..
after tat i wen hm straight..
tie my hair up...
did not want my mum to noe i straighten my hair..
my fringe she juz nag at me n ask how muchit is..
i had a qurel wif my dad ytd...
he got to noe tat my hp was not wif me,,
so i told him tat my teacher took my fone..
then he ask me for wat u noe ur fone in skul..
who u msg blah2..
i told hym tat it was my fault i nv say abt fatimah...
then he ask me wn can get back..
i told him nxt week..
n i nv tell him tat my mum nid to go skul n take it
if not my mum will get scoldin from hym..
then scold me maki2 aku...
die ckp tukar je name aku ratimanjari tu,,
tangan tk tahu ddk diam..
selalu menyusahkn org je..
tk prh uat hdup org sng...
anak celake..
tats was wat my dad said..
i juz keep quiet..
after did i nv tok to him tat all..
wen to slp early ytd...
if i wanna go out tmr cannot..
n plus..after i got back my hp..
i nid to give back tat fone to hym
n the nokia fone tat i am using also nid to give hym..
so i will not be havin any fone to use..
fuck la..
i really hate my lfye..
i really hope tat i will die soon la!!!!!!!!!!

no skul tdy..
wake up late i dunno cant remember..
my mum woke me up..
ask me to bath becose they wanted to go out..
supose to go out wif ahhui but end up goin out wif them..
wen to zam2..
eat 2 murtabak n one nasi branyi..
then walk2 @ bugis for a while..
n we head to city hall..
wen to buy donut..
then sit dunno where la..
lyke a garden n eat the dount...
we jln2 at the city link..
after tat we headed back to tamp..
had our dinner at the food culture...
then we haeded back home
reach hm @ ard 8plus..
btw at the food culture they was a group of mly guys eatin there also..
two of them r cute..
haha i keep on lookin @ them haha..
after tat watch tv for awhile..
then wen to slp beocoze tmr i got test to study ...